Excellent Grace

I know that my husband, my children, and I are just about to enter another “gap.”   That time from when “something” happens to when you see how it’s going to turn out.  The gap can be quite the scary place at times.  The “what ifs” can seem enough to paralyze.  But it’s in “the gap” that I know that this little sinful, redeemed husband and wife team can please the Lord.  Because it’s in the gap that faith can shine.  And as most seasoned Christians have memorized . . . Without faith, it is impossible to please the Lord.  Outside the gap – no faith required.  Outside the gap, we think we have it all together.   Everything is calm.   We think we know what the next minute will bring and we often find great comfort in that.   But in the gap – oh my goodness, faith is required!   The gap is the time between what “may be” to when we know “what is.”  The gap is from when you find the lump to when the biopsy results are back.  The gap is from when God saves you, but not your husband . .

Michael committed suicide two a half years ago. He had lived with my husband and I for the 16 months prior to that Saturday, June 28th. I suppose that day should not have come as such a shock. Warning us, he told us several times, “this will end in my suicide. . . I don’t want to tell you that, but it will. I’m so mad at myself for moving here and letting you love me. . . cuz I never wanted to hurt you.” I knew and truly believed that Michael was wrong. My ending to his time with us was much, much different. And after all, if we were going to take the risk of loving him – surely, God would do what He does – heal people, change hearts, change lives. Right? And so in March of 2013, we started the journey of loving someone very, very lovable. Michael didn’t make it hard. However. The ever-looming giant “However”. After about 13 months, Ryan and I had grown ready. Ready for many things. Ready to be done – ready to not knock on Michael’s door and open it to find him still in bed at 11

Jesus warned us before He left to return to His Father, “In this world, you will have trouble.”  In this world, we will have trouble.  Let us not be surprised or caught off guard when a room full of sinners, redeemed or not, have trouble in relationship to one another.  God, in His wisdom, left us command after command on how to relate to “one another.” Why?  Because He knew we would have trouble.  So what posture does He desire for us when this trouble comes in relationship to the church body?  God, I know trouble will come, so Lord Jesus - Teach us how to posture ourselves so that You would be pleased and get Your way; not so that we as individuals would be pleased and get our way - Lord, may Your will be done in our posture today! I have spent a considerable amount of invested time in 5 different churches in my 30 years.  I can think of a few personal experiences regarding church conflict and I have several friends who have shared heartbreaking stories with me on the division th